Welcome to another Thursday, friendly Offbeaters! Ready to get giphy? because goodness knows we did this week!

But seriously, gifs are so fun.

But actually seriously, we are going to take on “the man” today. The loudmouth, annoying, repetitive one. Yeah, that’s right.

The damn ass radio!

… Why wasn’t that what you expected?

Well whatever, with our great gifs and even better, points, you soon will see why the radio needs to be taken down.

1.) It’ll make you hip and cool
Everybody knows that true hipsters only listen to the radio under dire circumstances. This way, when you do actually have to listen to the radio, you can say, “I listened to this BEFORE it was popular,” to let everyone know just how cultured you are.

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2.) Your knowledge of music will impress other people
Being aware of songs and artists outside of the iTunes Top 25 shows people that you’re too good for the mainstream. A vast music library garners automatic respect.

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3.) You’ll be the designated DJ
Because other people are aware of your wide-ranging collection of tunes, they’ll always ask you to DJ at parties, in the car, or when you’re just hanging out. You can handle the all-mighty power of the aux cord because you’re used to the responsibility, and you’ve prepared a different playlist for every possible situation.

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4.) Avoid crippling disappointment
While the crushing weight of reality may be unavoidable in other aspects of your life, you can keep it out of your music selections. Forego the pain of ditching one crappy song only to find that the next station is playing the exact same crappy song. Choose your own music to know what’s coming next, no repeats needed.

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5.) You won’t ruin songs that are actually good
Mainstream radio stations repeat the same songs over and over and over again. If you avoid the radio altogether, you won’t get sick of the rare gems they do play!

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6.) You’ll never be forced to listen to country music again
Everyone can admit that country radio stations play one or two forgotten hits we can all get down to, and sometimes they’re the only option when everyone else is playing commercials. But if you bring your own music along, you’ll never have to settle. One can only listen to songs about beer and trucks for so long.

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7.) You don’t need Bluetooth to have a good time
Cheap aux cords exist! You can get one that connects through your car’s cassette player, or even one that plugs into that weird lighter thing that no one uses anyway. Or, invest in a stack of blank CDs to burn your favorite jams. If worst comes to worst, you can resort to using the speaker on your phone, or just singing the songs yourself. Anything is better than the radio.

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8.) Don’t give into overproduced, money-making machines
Artists you can’t avoid no matter how many radio stations your try (you know who I’m talking about), are manufactured purely to make money. Say no to capitalist America! Support artists with actual talent! Stick it to the man!

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9.) Flipping through channels is exhausting
When your stand-by programmed stations have failed you, you’re forced to resort to seeking to find a song that won’t make you puke. Pressing the seek button in rapid succession is not only annoying, it’s exhausting. Give your poor fingers a break.

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10.) Switching stations is dangerous
Along with being tiring, changing stations can also be distracting. If you’re focused on finding a song to listen to, you’re not paying attention to the road! Save yourself and others by making your own brilliant playlists ahead of time.

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11.) Radio waves could maybe kill you
In addition to the countless number of toxic gases your car already gives off, or even the mystery fumes leaking from your phone, radio waves are probably bad, too. Everything is slowly killing us anyways, so why add to the plethora of disease that already permeates the air you breathe?

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12.) You’ll learn stuff
Expand your horizons beyond the mainstream media. It’s all full of alternative facts and fake news anyways. When you look beyond the radio, you might find new artists, instruments, or even genres that you’ve never heard of before.

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13.) It’ll help you stay sane
Listening to the same song on repeat may be okay for a little while if the song is actually good, but it always ruins the song eventually. Most of the stuff on the radio sucks anyways, so it’s a special kind of torture. And let’s be honest, can you really handle hearing “Don’t Stop Believin’” one more time?

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14.) You deserve better
Overall, you deserve more than overproduced, overplayed BS. Demand the best. You can do better than radio. Move on!

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There they are, Offbeaters! Convinced yet? We certainly are. It’s time to liberate ourselves from our radio chains and be free music-lovers. After our well-constructed points, it’s clearly the only logical progression of what to do.

(But actually totally super seriously, guys, gifs are so fun).

Fight the Radio Man, gain your auditory independence, and stay weird.

(This post is accredited to our communications member and Facebook manager, Elizabeth Weitzel)
All images were found on giphy.com.

14 Offbeat Reasons You Should Never Listen to the Radio Ever Again

One thought on “

14 Offbeat Reasons You Should Never Listen to the Radio Ever Again

  • February 9, 2017 at 10:30 pm
    Permalink

    We’ve been gif’d.
    Which reminds me that gift, in German, means poison.

    Reply

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